


Impervious

by Rakefetzyz



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mother-Son Relationship, Nuns, Postpartum Depression, St. Agnes Orphanage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:56:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16405277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakefetzyz/pseuds/Rakefetzyz
Summary: Sister Maggie's life leading to the events of season three.





	Impervious

I have a special ability too. I’m impervious to bad attitude – Sister Maggie 3.02

  


Maggie sat slumped in her chair. The baby was wailing – he must be wet or hungry again. He was always wet or hungry, always needing attention. But she felt too sad, too exhausted to care. 

Why hadn’t her maternal instincts kicked in the way they had for all the other young mothers she met at the doctor’s or the corner store? It was God's way of telling her that she wasn’t meant to be a wife and mother. She was meant to follow her calling, the calling she had given up to marry Jack Murdock.

Matty’s wails grew louder. Jack burst into the apartment carrying a grocery bag with baby formula. He gave Maggie a disgusted look, then scooped up the baby and cradled him, crooning tunelessly until the wails died away. Jack took Matty into the bedroom to change him before going to prepare a bottle of formula. He sat with Matty in his arms as he fed him the bottle, gazing at his son with love and pride. 

It all seemed so easy and natural for Jack, yet so overwhelming and impossible for her. She must try to summon enough energy to talk to Father Lantom. Maybe it wasn’t too late to put right the terrible mistake she made when left the order so she could get married.

Maggie couldn't remember a time when she hadn’t wanted to be a religious sister. She grew up in the Saint Agnes orphanage, abandoned at birth, and never knew her parents. As a child she became close with some of the nuns who cared for her. She looked up to them and admired them.

When she graduated from high school they told her to spend some time out in the world before making her decision. “Go to college – you’re certainly smart enough,“ the nuns advised her, “or get a job for a year or two first.” But Maggie was adamant. She felt her calling and wanted to begin at once.

During her novitiate period, she stopped with some friends to watch a boxing match. The handsome boxer, Jack Murdock, and their attraction to each other were enough to make her question her calling. 

Jack was fierce and brave in the ring. He lost more than he won but he refused to stay down. Maggie loved the way he never quit. 

Jack had a surprisingly kind and gentle side too, a side he showed to the people he loved and cared about. He was always gentle and protective of her and that was what finally won her over. They married and thought they would be happy together. 

When she got pregnant, Jack was delighted. He came to all her check ups and made sure she ate the right foods and got enough rest. He kept saying he hoped the baby would have her brains, not his. He planned to do everything he could to make sure the child got an education. He felt that was the key to a better life. Maggie found herself swept up in the enthusiasm and looked forward to the baby’s birth along with Jack.

But after the birth, she lost her desire to live. Somehow she couldn’t bond with the baby. It wasn’t natural and she thought she knew why. 

When Jack called in Father Lantom, the priest took in the situation. He and Jack sadly agreed it would be better for Maggie to return to the order. 

The marriage would need to be annulled. A married woman could not become a nun and divorce was not permitted. Usually a woman with a young child could not become a nun either. But Father Lantom hoped for an exception because Maggie had already started the process and now felt she had made a mistake to leave it. 

Maggie returned to her calling and eventually made her peace with it. She felt bad for abandoning her son, as her parents had abandoned her. She recognized the irony of caring for other people's children at the orphanage when she had never cared for her own.

But Jack was so good with him, she knew Matty was better off with his father. She wasn’t sure how Jack had explained her absence to Matty and she didn’t want to complicate things. She had done enough to hurt them already. She would sacrifice seeing her child to avoid hurting them any more.

Nine years later, Sister Maggie was horrified to learn that Matthew had been blinded in traffic accident. But Paul was in touch with Jack and had been to see Mathew. He explained to her as he had to them about God's mysterious tapestry. He assured her that Matthew would get through it and would be okay. She felt she had no right to show up in their lives now and could only pray that Paul was right. 

The night came a year later when Jack left a message on the answering machine at the orphanage infirmary. Maggie was tending to a five-year-old with strep throat who needed to be gently woken and persuaded to swallow another dose of antibiotics. She didn’t get to the phone in time to answer. 

The message scared her. Soon she learned that her worst fears were realized and Jack was dead. Her now blind son had also lost the only parent he knew.

She couldn't leave the order now, if that was what Jack was asking of her. She had taken her vows years earlier and could never bring herself to break them. But she could bring Matthew to the orphanage and take care of him here. 

Matthew was only ten, still a little boy really. He had just experienced a devastating loss after losing his sight a year before. Like many other new children he suffered from nightmares.

“Help me! Please Help!” he would cry out. Maggie always ran to his bedside and sat there holding his hand until he fell asleep again.

One night a teenager needed to be rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. Maggie went with him in the ambulance and missed her son’s call for help.

Matthew never called for help again. It broke Maggie’s heart to know he had stopped believing that anyone would come. 

Maggie continued to care for him with the consistent yet firm love she gave to all the orphanage children. These children, who had lost everything at such a young age, could easily become trapped in self pity if she allowed it. Maggie never tolerated self pity or bad attitude. The children almost always realized sooner or later that it was best to get on with their lives.

Matthew stopped calling for help but he continued to look up to Sister Maggie and they developed a rapport. Her tough love saw him through his rebellious and questioning teen years when he set the orphanage record for the number of Hail Marys a child ever had to recite in penance. 

Maggie considered telling Matthew the truth. But their relationship was good now. Her consistent caring while accepting no nonsense pushed him to make the most of himself. At this point a revelation risked their relationship and might cause him to fall back into crippling self pity. And if truth be admitted she was just not brave enough to tell him.

In the end he left for college with Maggie's secret still unspoken.

They lost contact but Maggie continued to seek news of him. She burst with pride when he graduated from law school and when she heard how much good his law firm and later his solo pro bono work did for the local people. She resigned herself to following his life from a distance. She believed that was all she deserved. 

She believed it until one day Paul brought a battered, half dead vigilante to be cared for in the orphanage infirmary.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I’m Jewish. I have absolutely no experience with nuns unless they happen to be singing “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” 
> 
> But my internet research seems to show that the season 3 canon is not realistic. Every source I checked said that a woman with a child would not be accepted as a nun at least until the child grew up. This inaccuracy is in the show, it’s not mine.
> 
> If you are Catholic and you notice anything else here that seems off, please let me know and I will try to fix it.


End file.
